The Phantom of My Memories
by nekovampyregirl
Summary: A man awakens in his home with no memories of his past or about a facial deformity. To recover these memories he must find the reason he lost them and the one person who can help him recover his memories again is a woman he can't even remember. Join Erik in the search for these memories in The Phantom of My Memories. PAUSED
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction story for Phantom of the Opera. I am basing the characters off of the 2004 movie with Gerard Bulter as the most handsome Phantom/Erik (even if he is a killer) and the beautiful Christine Daae played by the talented Emily Rossum.**

**The story will be beta read by the amazing phantomphan2000 with whom I'd be at a lost. This was just the prologue I promise that the chapters will go longer. If you have any questions or comments I would enjoy hearing them. Please enjoy the first chapter: The Unknown Mask.**

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The man woke suddenly, unknowing of where he was or how he had come to get there. The room in which he lay in was dimly light by a solitary candle sitting on a table nearby. Glancing about the space, he noticed a large wooden door opposite bed he was currently occupying.

The man lifted the candle and got out of the bed to survey the room with a little more light. He found, not to his surprise, that the room was small and, he had to admit, very well furnished.

The small bed was made of a dark brown oak, while its sheets and pillowcases were ivory coloured and cashmere. The side table, which had two small drawers, was also a dark brown oak. There was also a lighter brown oak dresser and a hanging mirror with cherubs carved into the gold frame.

He opened the dresser to find many white collared shirts, several pairs of black pants, a dozen different coloured vests, and two different colour cloaks - one red and the other black - all tailored to fit him perfectly. Along with them were four capes; two red, two black. He also saw on the shelf above his head three marble heads. He stared at the statue heads not because they were in this dresser, but because of what each had on their well sculpted faces.

Each one had a mask of plaster, all different colours. The one on the right with a simple mask for the right side of the statues face, ivory in colour and fitted perfectly to the sculpture. The one on the middle was a full white mask with blackened eye rims and gashes formed to look like stitches. The one on the left was black and simple, it was held to the statue with a piece of black string. _Why are they there?_ he wondered, but when his eyes caught his reflection in the mirror, understanding washed over him.

The right side of his face suffered a physical deformity like non he had ever seen, something he could not describe, nor did he want to. He found it difficult to examine for long. Ashamed, he reached into the dresser and pulled on the prefect fitting, ivory mask from the statue. How could he not have known about this? He tried to search through his memories but the only ones he could grasp were those of the moments he had just spent in this room.

How could he not know anything of his past? How did he get here? Where was here? He decided his only option was to find someone who knew these answers. He released a sigh and walked out of the room, not knowing who or what he was going to find.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, its characters or songs.**

**Please enjoy the second chapter: The Mysterious Woman.**

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As he left the dark and beautifully furnished room and the slowly flickering candle behind, he became engulfed in the bright light of a long hallway decorated with chandeliers and old, unfamiliar faces in silent paintings that followed him with their unmoving eyes. He also noticed that there were other large doors lining the hallway. Why did he feel like he had been here before, yet had no memory of it? The question burned in his mind as he continued to walk through the lit hallway.

_Think of me, think of me fondly  
When we've said goodbye  
Remember me once in awhile  
Please promise me you'll try_

He listened to the sweet sound that filled the air as the mysterious singer continued. The voice was a magnificent soprano and held his ears in the equally beautiful song.

_Then you'll find that once again you long  
To take your heart back and be free  
If you ever find a moment  
Spare a thought for me_

He searched the hallway for the mysterious singer, until he came to two large wooden doors that were opened slightly. He walked quietly towards the gap and silently slipped through, hoping not to disturb the singer. As the doors opened wider, the music flowed to his ears, less muffled.

_We never said our love was evergreen  
Or as unchanging as the sea  
But if you can still remember  
Stop and think of me_

_Think of all the things  
We've shared and seen  
Don't think about the way  
Things might have been_

He stared into the room to see the most beautiful woman sitting upon a wooden stool, playing her beautiful music on a large grand piano. He cleared his voice softly so she would know he was in the room.

"Erik." The woman ran over to him and wrapped her small thin arms around his waist. "You are finally awake. I thought the music would have woken you earlier, but I suppose the song filled your dreams and did not disturb you."

He looked that the woman in shocked and confused. Did she know him? Maybe she could help him understand what was happening. "Excuse me_, _Mademoiselle, but do you know me?" The man was surprised to find his voice to be deep and powerful.

The woman stared at him as if she was fighting back the urge to laugh. When she realized he was being sincere, she frowned. "What are you are talking about, Erik? You are making no sense, dear." The man mimicked her frown. He believed he was making perfect sense, why did she not think the same?

"Mademoiselle, I do not know who you are nor who I am. I do not know where I am nor why I have this… face. I wish for you to tell me, as you seem to know me. Please, Mademoiselle." His eyes filled with fear that seemed to tear into her very soul.

"All right," she said calmly, answering Erik's pleas. "Your name is Erik. you were born with your face and have lived with it for your entire life. This house is one you built for yourself three years ago; I am the only one who lives here, other than yourself. My name is Christine…" Dare she say it? No, if he was faking this act, then he would interrupt her. "Christine Daae. I have been your dearest friend and companion for these past three years." She waited for Erik to correct her, but instead he seemed even more confused than before. Maybe he wasn't testing her. Could it be that he had really forgotten his Christine even after all they had gone through so long ago? The thought made her almost burst into tears, but she knew that was not something she could do in front of him. Not in front of her dear Erik.

"Thank you, Mademoiselle, but I still find no knowledge in anything you have said. I know that I am missing something, and I hope that you will help me retrieve it." Christine nodded slowly, as she lifted herself from the piano bench and grabbed Erik's hand.

"Follow me to the kitchen. I am sure you are starving." Erik nodded and followed her out, never letting go of her soft delicate hand with his strong, masculine one. As they walked down the endless hall, Christine continued to talk in her lovingly sweet voice. Erik listened intently, not wanting her to stop. Though why he wanted that, he did not know.

They took only a few moments to reach the kitchen's door. Christine walked inside and began creating a healthy, delicious meal for him. "Maybe there's something medically wrong with you, Erik. I should fetch Doctor Gilles, he may be able to understand what is happening to you, and in the meantime, you can explore the house. I suggest you start in the music room; after all it is your most favourite room." Christine grabbed the long cloak that hung on the kitchen door. "I should not be gone long. Please wait for me in the music room until I return." She bent down and gently kissed Erik's face on both sides, placing the mask back onto the right side of his face. Then, without another word, she walked out of the kitchen to find the doctor and learn of what had happened to her dear Erik.

Erik slowly finished his meal, taking time to savor each delicious bite. After he was finished, he placed his dishes carefully in the sink and left for the music room. He found it with no trouble. He decided to take Christine's advice and take a long look around the large room.

Besides the grand piano that sat in the middle of the room, there was a wall length black oak bookcase to the right of the piano. He walked up to see that the bookcase did not hold books, but instead scores upon scores of music. One that caught his eyes was a black case with an odd insignia on the spine. Erik gently reached out to grab the case. The title on the front read in large, gold, calligraphy letters: DON JUAN. He began to read the scores inside until his eyes caught one song in particular. _Past_ _The_ _Point_ _of No_ _Return_. His mind was suddenly filled with a blast of music:

_Past the point no return  
The final threshold  
The bridge is crossed  
So stand and watch it burn  
We've passed the point of no return_

The song faded in his mind, but he recognized the voice of the woman that sang along with him. It was Christine's tearful soprano voice that sang along with the prefect tenor voice of a man he knew but did not at the same moment. He shook his head softly and turned to another score case. This one's case, with bright yellow exquisite writing, read: Hannibal. He opened the case to again have music erupt in his mind. It was the same song Christine had been singing when he awoke. _Think_ _of_ _Me_. He closed his eyes and listened carefully to the beautiful music until it, too, faded from his mind.

He placed the case back in its spot and turned around to see paintings on the other wall. They were all of famous Opera Houses and Art Museums, which had been painted with such detail that it seemed as though they were photographs. All were signed with a uniquely styled _E_ each in a different colour. _E _for Erik. They were all painted by him. He stared at the paintings with wide eyes. What else could he created apart from the paintings? Could he have been the one singing with Christine? The questions left holes in his mind. He shook his head once again and turned to look at a large painting with shock. Christine.

It was indeed a painting of the woman he had just met. Every feature he had noticed was present in the portrait, emphasizing her beauty. The painting flowed with love and happiness and passion. He looked down to see not see an _E_ in the bottom right corner but instead an inscription:

_My beautiful wife, this is a present to show you my love in ways that cannot be spoken.  
I love you, my Christine.  
Yours forever, Erik_

He stared in pain at the inscription. Christine was more than just a friend and companion to him. She was in fact his wife and the person he loved. How could he forget the very woman he loved? Perhaps she had been right in thinking it to be a medical issue. Whatever it was, he had to find a way to bring back his lost memories of his wife.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, its characters or songs.**

**Please enjoy the third chapter: The Familiar Yet Unfamiliar Doctor.**

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Christine found Eric exactly where she had expected, not in the music room, but instead in the greenhouse, tending to her roses. She smiled to see how passionate her husband still was when it came to the delicate flower. She could not count how many times she had woken up to a red rose lying on her pillow with a black ribbon gently tied around it. She sighed softly to herself; she could not keep Doctor Gilles waiting any longer. "You do love those roses, even now." Erik turned and smiled at her – the same smile that always took her breath away.

"They seemed to have called me here. I feel like I have been near roses for my entire life. But that is impossible." His smile disappeared and was replaced by a deep sadness. The look clawed at Christine's already half–broken heart. Her dear Erik was in pain and she could not fix it, no matter how hard she tried. She walked quietly toward him, gently placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Will you come and see Doctor Gilles? He is waiting for the both of us in the music room. Will you come?" Erik's face lightened as he answered with a step towards the door, allowing Christine to guide him to the waiting doctor. They did not speak as they walked, but there were no words to say that could brighten the situation. This was the first item that Doctor Gilles noticed. The second was that Erik did not look at Christine with the same affection he always did. _Odd,_ Doctor Gilles thought to himself as Erik and Christine sat down on opposite ends of the room. They seemed father apart; they were usually joined at the hip. But the old doctor did not see anything amiss. Some couples did grow apart as their relationship furthered.

"Monsieur Erik Destler, your wife here has told me that you are having a bit of trouble with your memories. I shall see what I can do." Christine looked at the doctor in shock. Did he have to make her marriage to Erik known to him already? Of course he did, that was Gilles for you. "Monsieur, if you please." He waved his hand to the chair next to him. Erik gracefully move to sit in the chair. "Thank you, monsieur. Now I have a few questions to ask before I examine you. Madam Destler, would you please exit the room for a moment? I want Erik's answers to be truthful and not brought on with any help." He smiled as Christine nodded.

"You know where I will be. I love you." She kissed Erik's forehead gently and left the room, still a bit worried for her husband.

"Alright monsieur, may I call you Erik?" The masked man nodded, making Gilles smile. "Wonderful. My name is Doctor Gilles Andre. Now, the first questions will be simple, but they will become harder after a time, so please stay calm." Erik stared at Doctor Gilles in anticipation. He knew this man, he was just too familiar to forget but, then again, he was unfamiliar, a ghost of the past come back to haunt him. Doctor Gilles looked calmly at Erik, patiently waiting for permission.

Erik nodded slowly, and Doctor Gilles started with a simple question. "Let us begin. What is today's date?"

"December 29th, 1876." Both Erik and Doctor Gilles were surprised; most amnesiacs did not know the date, let alone the year.

"Good, now where and when were you born?"

Erik thought long and hard, trying to recall memories out of his reach. Finally in a straining voice, he answered, "I do not know. I don't even remember who my mother was."

Doctor Gilles did not seemed unfazed by the man's answer. "Hmm, interesting. Do you know your age? Or perhaps Christine's age?" Erik shook his head.

"I do not remember anything about Christine or anything but the events of today." Doctor Gilles closed his eyes and sighed.

"It seems," he said calmly, "that we should end the questioning here for now. Madam Destler, may I have a word with you?"

Christine appeared at the door in a second, ready to speak with the doctor. She studied Erik with a gentle gaze before she once again left him alone in the room. "Let us talk in the drawing room." Doctor Gilles said. Christine nodded and began walking in the direction of the drawing room. Erik continued to sit in the velvet red armchair that mirrored the lone velvet emerald armchair on the other side. He looked up at the bookcase of music scores.

Gracefully, he lifted himself out of the chair and strolled toward the bookcase. He closed his eyes as he allowed his fingers to pick out a case from the large selection. When his hand willingly stopped, he opened his eyes to look at the blue case in his hands. _My Songs to My Beautiful Christine_ was the title red in large red-violet letters. Erik carried the scores over to the piano.

He opened the case randomly and began to play the music softly while he sang along with the beautiful sounds that flowed from the graceful instrument:

_Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation  
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination  
Silently the senses abandon their defenses_

_Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor  
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender  
Turn your face away from garish light of day  
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light  
And listen to the music of the night_

_Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams  
Purge all thoughts of the life you knew before  
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar  
And you'll live as you've never lived before_

_Softly, deftly, music shall caress you  
Hear it, feel it secretly possess you  
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind  
In this darkness that you know you cannot fight  
The darkness of the music of the night_

_Let your mind start to journey to a strange new world  
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before  
Let your soul take you were you long to be  
Only then can you belong to me_

_Floating, falling sweet intoxication  
Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation  
Let the dream begin, let your darker side given in  
To the power of the music that I write  
The power of the music of the music_

_You alone can make my song take flight  
Help me make the music of the night_

The words floated through the hall until they reached Christine's ears, silently filling her mind with memories of the past that she would never allow to leave, no matter what was to come. She turned her head back to Gilles and stared at him, wide-eyed. "Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. "Maybe it's just a fluke?"

Gilles shook his head. "No, Christine, as it was the last time, it is definitely not a fluke. Congratulations. Or perhaps I should say I'm sorry. I'm not sure which is more appropriate." Christine stared at him in horror. Once again, she faced a difficult decision: Could she tell Erik the good news when everything had changed, was different? Erik himself was different. Would telling him help or hurt? That was something she did not know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, its characters or songs.**

**Please enjoy** the fourth chapter: The Music of Memory.****

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_This chapter starts somewhere in the midst of Erik's reading and piano playing._

Christine slowly closed the door behind them and turned around to sit on her favorite golden chaise lounge. Gilles had taken the India green armchair that sat beside a light brown oak table. "Doctor Gilles, have you discovered what plagues my husband's mind? I do not want to be in the dark, and do not tell me the answer is not for a proper lady's ears, for we both know I am much more than proper."

Gilles smiled at Christine's remark. "Have I not told to call me Gilles? Christine, I know for a definite fact that you have not been a proper lady for the last five years." He shook his head. "But we are not talking about you, we are discussing Erik's situation. Christine, Erik has amnesia. I do not know the cause, so I will need more time to discover it. And there is another thing I'd like to discuss with you before I leave."

Christine looked at Gilles with curiosity. "Please feel free to."

Gilles took a deep breath. He slowly told Christine the news.

Christine stared at him, wide-eyed. "Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. "Maybe it's just a fluke?"

Gilles shook his head. "No, Christine, as it was the last time, it is definitely not a fluke. Congratulations. Or perhaps I should say I'm sorry. I'm not sure which is more appropriate."

"Are you sure positive, Gilles? I cannot bear any jokes at the moment," Christine added. She so hoped her ear had deceived her, but Gilles' eyes read true.

"As I have told you many times, Christine, I did not go through five years of medical school training to become a physician on your behalf and not use all my knowledge I have gained. Really, Christine, you know me better than that." Christine apologized for disbelieving the considerate doctor who had done so much for both her and her family. "Apology accepted. I know it is hard to hear this type of news when your husband has just forgotten everything he holds dear. It's shocking."

Gilles patted Christine's hand gently and looked into her eyes with remorse. "Would you like the twins to stay with Jacqueline and myself for a few more days? My wife simply loves them; she has become very fond of them both. Little Carla is a vision of you, with her father's talent. She been a great help with Jacqueline, like a little nurse. Dimitri is an outstanding young boy even for four years. He's like his father in talents, looks—apart for the fact that he did not inherit his father's… ah… face… and he is very protective of his sister. Isn't Carla the older of the two?" Christine laughed. Oh how she missed her little angels. She loved them both so dearly and did not wish to be separated from them for long periods of time.

"It would be best if they stayed with you for a little while longer. I cannot bear to see either of their faces if they learn of what has befallen on their father. I just cannot."

Gilles nodded. "I know it's hard, Christine, but you must not keep this secret from your family, my dear. Secrets can taint and destroy relationships that have proven to withstand the test of time. Oh, and I almost forgot. Monsieur Firmin is hosting a masquerade ball to celebrate the New Year; you and Erik are invited. In fact, if you both are not present, I will drag you and your talented husband here by the hair. So, really, it is mandatory that you both attend."

Christine shook her head and smiled. "If my doctor commands."

Gilles smiled. "Yes, I do." That was all he had to say. The two burst into laughter. "It will be in three days' time. Will you accompany me to the door?"

"Of course." Christine smiled, grabbing Gilles arm as they walked towards the front doors. "If I will see you at the masque then and am I to guess the twins will be with you?"

Gilles said nothing but placed his hat on with a large smile and began his trip home. Christine laughed as she closed the door. She began walking towards the library when she heard the beginning of a memorable song. She smiled and gently leaned against the door, pressing her ear to the wood material just in time for the lyrics to begin.

_In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came_  
_That voice which calls to me and speaks my name_  
_And do I dream again? For now I find_  
_The Phantom of the Opera is there inside my mind_

As Christine sang, she walked slowly towards the piano, a trace-like look on her face. Erik turned to see her walk towards him as she continued to sing until it was his turn sing.

_Sing once again with me, our strange duet_  
_My power over you grows stronger yet_  
_And though you turn form me to glance behind_  
_The Phantom of the Opera is there inside your mind_

He sang as his fingers gently caressed the pianos ivory keys. Christine placed careful hands around his mask and slowly took it off.

_Those who have seen your face draw back in fear  
I am the mask you wear_

She gently kissed his deformed face.

_It's me they hear_

Their voices began to meld together as they continued the beautiful song.

_Christine:_  
_Your spirit and my voice_

_Erik:_  
_My spirit and your voice_

_Both:_  
_In one combined_  
_The Phantom of the Opera is there inside_

_Christine:  
My mind_

_Erik:_  
_Your mind_

Their voices echoed through the large room, flowing together in a beautiful harmony as the song soon came to an end.

_He is there the Phantom of the Opera_  
_He is there the Phantom of the Opera_

Her voice began to turn from lyrics to a beautiful vocalized sound as Erik sang on.

_Sing my Angel of Music_  
_Sing my angel_  
_Sing for me_  
_Sing my angel_  
_Sing for me_

The song slowly ended and the voices of the two began to fade from the walls of the room. Christine took a deep breath. "I have not sung with you for years. I don't know why we even stopped. Our harmony is perfect." She gently placed his mask back upon his face.

"Would you like to sing another duet with me?" Christine nodded and went to grab the very song she wanted to sing with him once again. She walked back, carefully holding the song's score in her hands. "This one?" Erik asked, astonish by her choice.

"This one." Erik sighed and turned to the line where Christine wished to start. The silence in the room was soon filled again by the piano's amazing sound. Christine's voice soon accompanied the piano's music in harmony.

_No thoughts within her head, but thoughts of joy  
No dreams within her heart but dreams of love!_

"Erik would you please skip ahead to here?" Christine asked pointing to the spot. Erik nodded and began to sing the lyrics.

_You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge  
In pursuit of that wish which till now  
Has been silent, silent_

_I have brought you that our passions may fuse and merge_  
_In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defenses_  
_Completely succumbed to me now you are here with me_  
_No second thoughts you've decided, decided_

_Past the point of no return_  
_No backward glances_  
_Our games of make-believe are at an end_

_Past all thought of "if" or "when"_  
_No use resisting_  
_Abandon thought and let the dream descend_

_What raging FIRE shall flood the soul_  
_What rich desire unlocks it's door_  
_What sweet seduction lies before us?_

_Past the point of no return the final threshold  
What warm unspoken secrets will we learn  
Beyond the point of no return?_

Christine began to sing with a deep feeling of love in her heart, the same emotion she felt the night they had first sung the passionate song.

_You have brought me to that moment when words run dry  
To that moment when speech disappears into silence, silence  
I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why  
In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining  
Defenseless and silent, now I am here with you  
No second thoughts I've decided, decided_

_Past the point of no return_  
_No going back now_  
_Our passion-play has now at last begun_

_Past all thought of right or wrong_  
_One final question_  
_How long should we two wait before we're one?_

_When will the blood begin to race_  
_The sleeping bud burst into bloom_  
_When will the flames at last CONSUME us?_

Christine and Erik held each other's gazes as they began to harmonize their voices, filled with power and passion.

_Past the point of no return the final threshold  
The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn  
We've passed the point of no return._

As the lyrics ended, Erik grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes with love and sadness as his voice once again filled the air.

_Say you'll share with me  
One love, one lifetime  
Lead me, save me from my solitude  
Say you want me with you here beside you_  
_Anywhere you go let me go too  
Christine that's all I ask of…_

Christine grabbed Erik gently and pressed her lips to his. Erik's eyes widened, but soon he closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. It lasted only a few moments, but it left them both breathless. "I am sorry, Christine, I do not what come over me. I should go." He lifted himself off the piano bench and began to leave the room. Christine knew if she didn't do something soon, he would become distant. A thought came to mind, and she took in a breath and allowed her voice to fill the room once more.

_Remember me, remember the time  
We spent side by side_  
_Think of me now and forever_  
_Please Erik try_

_You always said our love was evergreen_  
_And as unchanging as the sea_  
_So if you can still remember  
Please remember me_

Erik turned and stared at Christine, his voice suddenly filling her ears.

_I never knew of the life with you_  
_Or that I never left your side_  
_If I could change the past  
I would forever try_

Erik walked toward Christine and gently touched his hand to her face.

_Erik, you were the one I knew_  
_Who would stay with me until the end_  
_So if you can try_  
_Please try to remember me_

_Flowers fade the fruits of summer fade_  
_But our love will never die_  
_Even if you left me_  
_I'll remember_

Erik pressed his lips roughly to Christine's. Christine pushed away for a second and they both finished the song.

_YOU!_

"Oh, Christine," Erik said as he kissed her once again, deeper than before. "How did I ever forget you?" Christine stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Christine stared at him with hope swelling in her heart. "Do you remember?" Eric looked at her with an odd expression on his face. "Erik?"

"I do not know what I've remembered but I know that I have many more memories to retrieve before I am cured."

Christine kissed her husband's lips again gently. "And I will help you."


	5. Author Note

Hello readers, this is Neko. Due to an upsetting side effect to updating my laptop, all my files for my stories have been lost... So I'm going to be very slow updating the stories I didn't save to Google Docs. The ones I am going to do are The Untold Hungers and The Prince and the Rebel. Once I find those and get somewhat done them I will return to Someday Soon and Snow Rose. After that I'll try to finish The Phantom of My Memories and The Hero of A Nation. This will take a lot of time but I hope you all can be patent with me. I will finish them. Until them please enjoy the ones I'm working on.

-Nekovampyregirl

PS: This note will be on all stories that are on hold and on my profile page


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